Cyberman0

I have not been on here for a while.

However, recently I lost the person that probably meant the most to me in the world.

Angelica Wooton, died in her sleep, and will sorely be missed.

I loved that woman with every bit of who I am. I still do. I can’t really believe that she is gone. If I could I would take her place. She died in her sleep. On Tuesday night, at the age of 36.

She had been having health problems; I don’t have a full actual cause. Information is difficult to get because of the standings between us. I will get it sooner or later, but its frustrating in the mean time.

The person in me wants to understand why, even though I know it will not change anything. There has never been anyone that has impacted my life in ways I can’t describe. She felt like my other half even though, we where apart.

I pushed her away after the last break up. She had gotten back together with Leroy. I wanted her happy, and that was not going to be with me. Nor would I change any of it. If I had been around like I wanted, like she wanted it would of caused problems for them. I was not willing to do that. I relegated myself to loving her, while not being able to be near her. Sometimes it is all you can do.

I hear she was happier then she had been in years, and for that I am eternally grateful.

There has never been anyone who has inspired me to do the things that she did. There will likely never be another person who will. Since my surgery I have dropped about 120 pounds. Floating around 380 ~ ish. I am setting another goal of dropping another 100 pounds. I will not waste what I have worked so hard toward. Angie would not want me to do that.

Without her in my life, I would probably die a lot younger then I will at this point.

This whole thing has made me think really hard about what is most important in life. I think this is the way I view it.


1) Love the ones that you care about.
2) Love Yourself
3) Fight the good fight, for the right reasons.
4) Simply put, do the right thing (Moral code)
5) Have faith in people.

You never know when things will through you a curveball, and sometimes you have to take a step back and re-evaluate.

---

To Angie:

Honey, if I could I would take your place. Bring you back to this world. You have so much more to give, and you were taken way too young. I hope you know how many people love you, how you will be missed.

I’m glad that you are no longer hurting. I hope you have some sort of peace.

I’m sorry that we did not have more time together, but I think it enriched both of our lives with the time that we did have. I am eternally grateful for the time we did have, and never in my life did I feel more loved then at those times.

I love you, I will forever.
Eternally yours,
Jim.

---

I hope everyone is doing well.

I know not everyone liked her. Simply because everything that she had put me through. However if it was not for her, there is a good chance that I would die a lot younger in life then I will now.

I will be back shortly. So opens another chapter in my life.

hmmmm interestedting.....

ENFJ- The Teacher You scored 72% I to E, 31% N to S, 28% F to T, and 31% J to P!

Your type is known as the teacher, or the educating mentor. You also belong to the larger group, called idealists. You tend to bring out the best in other people. You lead without seeming to do so. People are naturally drawn to you. You expect the very best from people which takes the form of enthusiastic encouragement which is so charming that people try their best not to disappoint you. You share your personality type with 3% of the population. You need to feel a deep and meaningful connection to your romantic partners, and go to great lengths to understand and please your mate. Harmony is vitally important to you, and you often put others' needs before your own. You have a pretty thin skin and are easily hurt. Although you strive for harmony, when your values or ethics are violated, you can be very emotional, confrontational, and even punishing. However, you are very insightful about the underlying cause of conflicts, and an excellent communicator, so you have the tools to bring about a quick and peaceful resolution as long as you can keep control of your facilities. You want to be appreciated for your thoughtfulness and compassion. You need your partner to make a real effort to get to know you. Above all, you need to be able to express your feelings and have them taken seriously. Your group summary: idealists (NF) Your type summary: ENFJ

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 83% on I to E You scored higher than 34% on N to S You scored higher than 22% on F to T You scored higher than 16% on J to P

Link: The LONG Scientific Personality Test written by unpretentious2 on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Well, so much for good times. Angie is going back to Idaho. Simply put she is not happy. thereis not much that I can do about it. I have done what I can. We both still love each other but she feels that she has to go. I dont want to too. but I have to respect her wishes. This sucks. The girl that is the woman of my dreams is leaving, I can't get mad, I can only ... hurt.

Ok that was freaky. about 15 mins after I made my Last post she called me, without reading LJ ... *blink*

*Wonders where Silabub Is* ... o.O

I got bored....
( Read more... )

I have converted my journal to be friends only now. If you want me to add you to my Friends list leave me a note here or add me to your list, I will return the favor. There is a possibility someone may look at this as an example of my web design work, therefore I had to remove all of the public posts. If you have any questions please feel free to e-mail me at cyberman@silenti.net.

-Cyberman0